So, I've just spent the past, oh, 200-300 words talking about my knitting, but that's only because the next most pressing things on my mind are a little overwhelming. I'd end up spewing my cognitive baggage all over this screen, taking anyone and everyone who is unfortunate enough to read the first syllables of "whatthefuckamidoingwithmylifeholysh
down with me into an abysmal depths of anxiety and self-doubt. And probably naivete. Plenty of that round these parts, too, I'm sure.
I guess all you need to know is that: I'm graduating. My current employment ends immediately upon my graduation. I've sent out manymanymany job applications. I've spent the last two months looking for a new roommmate and a new 3 bedroom apartment that met all of our (Boifren & Smuggi & mine) requirements. And, I officially declined my offer to attend OSU. AND, I am PETRIFIED that I will do NOTHING in this Ford Lumina town that will put me on a path towards...something awesome. Or at least something that doesn't make me feel like I'm settling, selling myself short, etc.
Well, back to the knitting? where the hell did anthropology go? I totally stopped writing about anthropology at some point. That's probably because of Mr. Thesis, which, by the way, is OVER. Officially. As in, professionally bound and submitted in quadruplicate to the Honors College (and I have two extra bound copies for myself). Relieving doesn't even begin to describe how it felt to turn that stack of suck into Ms. Montgomery's office. If you have the opportunity to do an undergraduate thesis DO IT. I know that's not what you were expecting. I have complained about that beast for a long time. But the sense of accomplishment and also knowing that you're capable of that (and so much more) is pretty fucking satisfying. I pushed myself hard, but I know I didn't come close to my real limits. By limits I mean that I know that didn't completely exhaust myself to the point of being curled up in the fetal position in the corner, pants-less and muttering about the way things should have been.
This is starting to get too long and a little incoherent. Which means it's time to apply to more jobs!!!! Strategy for success, ya'll!